Love Your Life
Happy Wednesday!
This past weekend, I went to the Prahran Market and picked up some pretty flowers - except they are actually Ornamental Kale, like the vegetable! I've never heard of ornamental kale before, but they are really pretty. I guess they are in the same family as cabbage and they can be edible. They feel exactly like cabbage! So weird. Luckily they don't smell like cabbage lol. They are kind of ugly from the side, so if I buy these again I would use a shorter vase, or tie a ribbon around it or something to hide the ugly stems. The flowers are pretty, but next time I want something that smells nice too :)
On Monday night I sat down to write this post. I wanted to get it drafted so I could go to the gym after work on Tuesday. Except my mind was blank. I couldn't think of anything to write about. And then I started panicking. Was I going to have to try and figure out a whole post based around ornamental kale? Haha. Help! I started a few ideas and then abandoned them. I enjoy this writing process, so I don't just want to write about anything to get it over with and put something up. After about an hour I gave up and decided to leave it for the next day.
On Tuesday I figured out my problem. July 17th is the two-year anniversary of my uncle's very unexpected death. When I switched to posting just three days a week I was so relieved the 17th didn't fall on a day I post. It was one of the first things I checked. I didn't want to write about the loss of my uncle or tell funny stories about him. I don't want to celebrate his life on the day he died. That was the worst day of my life. This is one of those times where it's really really hard not to be home with my family, but it's also kind of a relief because the grieving is so tough and I'm on a different day here so it kind of feels like I get to skip that awful day.
Once it kind of clicked that this was why I was having writer's block, I decided I wanted to share this saying I saw on Facebook a few days after his death.
Excuse the bad language, but this was something that I really connected with at that time.
There are a lot better sayings out there than this one. But I remember feeling so shaken that someone so full of life could just be gone, so suddenly. And it was so comforting for me that in the days after his passing, so many strangers had crazy stories about my crazy uncle. From the florist to the server at Farm Boy and everyone in between. Things were certainly never boring if my uncle was around, and that's what this quote made me think of.
It's a good lesson for someone like me, who is super introverted and a super homebody. I'm always scared of everything, but I want to be someone who makes things fun! I've definitely been trying to be more adventurous and more open to people. And that's also why I will always eat cookie or poutine, or why I try to talk more to strangers. It's why I tell my girlfriends I love them every time we talk, and why I didn't hesitate to move to Australia when the opportunity came up. It's why I go to the gym and do stupid cardio that feels like dying but really makes me feel alive because I am moving and my heart is pounding and even though I hate running if I lost my legs tomorrow I would really miss it.
So to end off today, do something for yourself that makes you love your life! Call a friend, play a sport, have a sour candy, do a prank on someone! Live, laugh, love. I bet there is someone in your life that you wish you had one more day with, and yet you are here, alive for one more day. Don't waste that shit.
RIP Uncle Marky
